No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes Read online

  “I want my thick cock in your tight ass, because it feels fucking amazing. I want you to ride me hard and deep and use my cock until you come all over me again, and then I’ll come.”

  Josh's eyes flared. Then his mouth curled in a boyish, sexy smile. “With pleasure.”

  Noah smiled. He’d known the sexy talk would turn Josh on. Shy, sweet Josh had quite the dirty mouth when it came to bed talk. It was an incredible turn on, so it was easy to return the favor.

  Josh lifted his hips again and brought them down in a gyrating movement. “I will fuck you so hard,” Josh said, thrusting up and down again. “…and so deep…” Noah’s balls slapped against Josh's ass from the impact of the shove. “…and so tight…” Another deep push. “…that you will come harder than you’ve ever come before.”

  Noah shuddered as Josh starting riding him for real. The slick heat was incredible, engulfing his cock like a compression sleeve. His hands grabbed Josh's ass, his fingers digging into his cheeks to support the brutal rhythm in which Josh was slamming down. “Fuck, you feel good…Ride me harder, Josh.”

  Josh let out a growl, increasing the pace even more, almost bringing tears to Noah’s eyes. His nuts, which had relaxed a little during Josh's cooling down, resumed their frantic buzzing. His heart was racing, his body drenched in sweat, and his entire nerve center seemed to have moved to his cock. All he could feel was the slick heat and the building pressure. All he wanted was to come hard and long and deep.

  He groaned, lifting his hips from the mattress to match Josh's rhythm. His cock was granite, his balls bursting to unload, but he would not blow until Josh had come again. Josh's cock was dripping precum, and Noah grabbed the tight shaft with his right hand, eliciting a deep moan from Josh. Noah pumped him furiously, matching the rhythm from Josh's thrusts.

  “Oooohhh,” Josh wailed, his eyes crossing. “Oh fuck, Noah…don’t stop…don’t stop…I’m gonna…”

  Noah’s whole body tensed as he fought back his release. He couldn’t hold on for long anymore.

  “Dammit, Joshua, come for me,” he ordered and gave Josh's cock a massive squeeze. It erupted in his hands, squirting cum all over, as Josh slammed down on Noah’s cock and sent him over the edge.

  Noah’s vision went red, and a mighty roar thundered in his ears. His hips thrust up to bury his cock all the way, balls slapping against Josh's ass as he shattered. “Ungh!”

  All his strength left him and his hands dropped to his sides, powerless. Josh must have had the same experience, because he flopped down on Noah’s chest, panting as if he’d finished a marathon. Noah would have cuddled him, but he simply couldn’t lift his hands.

  “Josh,” he managed to say. “That was the single best fuck I’ve ever had. Anytime you want me to fuck you, say the word.”

  9

  Indy’s boxers were dripping wet with precum, as his cock had been leaking continuously. It was painfully hard, straining against his underwear, fighting to be released. He’d never been this turned on, not to the point where his brain had stopped working and every nerve in his body seemed to be focused on his junk.

  Just then, the garage door opened, a distant hum. Noah looked at him, lifting one brow as if to say the ball was in Indy’s court.

  Was he going to do this? Fuck it, he had already decided to take Noah up on his offer. He merely needed to find the courage to voice his request because as Noah had said: he had to ask for it. And fuck, did he crave the release. His whole body was throbbing and thrumming with red-hot need.

  Noah’s stories had been so fucking hot. The mental picture of these two guys getting all naked and sexy and sweaty was almost too much. But listening to Noah and Josh's story had done something else, and Indy suspected Noah had done this on purpose: it had made Indy trust them even more. Knowing how wicked special the bond between these two men was, how vulnerable they dared to be with each other, and how they took care of each other assured him he was safe with them.

  “Wow, you guys are still talking,” Josh commented as he stepped into the parlor. “By the way, Indy, if you want me to pick up your car, you’ll need to give me your keys.” He stilled as his gaze traveled from Indy to Noah. He undoubtedly detected the tension in the room. “What’s going on?”

  “Oh, I’ve been telling Indy stories of how we became fuck buddies,” Noah said. “That first time you gave me a blow job and the first time you rode my cock.”

  Josh's mouth dropped open before he caught himself and closed it. His eyes focused on Indy, narrowed. “That cannot have helped with you being horny already,” he said slowly.

  All Indy needed to come was someone touching him. Seriously, one touch to his cock and he’d fucking erupt. Stupid ribs. Stupid broken arm. Well, maybe not. Maybe that fucked-up robbery, meeting Josh, and having sore ribs would turn out to be the single best thing that ever happened to him.

  Noah and Josh locked eyes, communicating with each other wordlessly. The slow smile spreading across Josh's face told Indy he was on board with the plan. Still, Indy had to ask. Noah would not let anything happen without Indy’s explicit consent and didn’t that seal the deal for him?

  Indy looked from Noah to Josh and back as Josh lowered himself on the armrest of Noah’s chair. They were so close, so in tune with each other. He wanted that, opening himself up again sexually with someone he could trust. Maybe with someones he could trust? The idea filled his head. If these guys were that open and okay with their complicated sexual relationship, why not go with the flow? Maybe he could tap into that trust they had going. Fuck knew he could use some of that.

  He took a deep breath. It was time to jump. “Which is where you guys come in. Would you care to help a guy out?”

  Noah’s eyebrows furrowed, but Josh reacted first.

  “You mean Noah, not me, right? You said guys, but you mean Noah. It’s him you want, not me. I’ve seen how you look at him, and he wants you, too…I’ll shut up now, ‘cause I’m babbling. I do that sometimes when I get nervous. But you meant Noah, right?”

  “I meant you both.”

  Josh's head jerked, and he shot Indy an incredulous look. “But…you want him, not me.”

  A deep sense of calm filled Indy, even though his belly fluttered. “I want you both. I need you both. What you two have, it’s beautiful. It’s messy and fucked up, but beautiful. I want that. And I don’t wanna come between you by choosing one of you. When we kissed, you were hard, Josh. And you gave me the first boner I’ve had in a long time.”

  Indy looked down at his hands for a few seconds. This was where it got brutally honest. “I haven’t had sex in over two years and for me, sex has rarely been a good experience. The last time I had sex was…fucking horrible. Yes, Noah’s stories were hot, and they turned me on. But even more than you guys fucking, the trust between you did it for me. I know that we just met, but I love the trust you have. Maybe you could share that with me and help me regain some self-confidence and faith in people?”

  Josh and Noah shared a look stuffed with meaning. How he wanted someone to look at him like that, someday. That much love and trust, it was staggering.

  They’ll never want you like that. Not when they find out who you are, what you did.

  “You can’t hold Indy down or restrain him,” Noah told Josh. “And we have to be careful with his ribs, so no twisting or turning or any kind of pressure on his torso.”

  “Okay.” Josh nodded seriously, then turned to Indy. “Avoid touching the bottom of the stump. Anywhere else is fine, but the skin of the stump is irritated right now and sensitive.”

  Indy’s eyes burned with tears. These guys were incredible. They did nothing but take care of each other, and now of him. A cripple, a basket case and then him: the paranoid, defensive freak. He did fit right in.

  “I don’t have much experience, Indy, so you’ll have to tell me want you want,” Josh said. He was sporting an adorably serious expression, as if he was ready to take notes to pass a test.

  “Same here,
” Noah said. Indy’s eyes widened and Josh frowned. “What?” Noah asked defensively. “I enlisted when I was eighteen and thought I was straight, okay? Not a lot of available girls in the army. I only got to fuck girls in the months before I enlisted, but I remember little since I was drunk half the time. Plus, even then, me and Josh were tight, and we hung out together most of the time. Most of my experience is with you, Josh, and you’re the only guy I’ve ever fucked.”

  “I know for a fact you banged what’s-her-name in your dad’s office. Lieutenant Dallas,” Josh said.

  “First, her name was Meghan. You don’t call someone lieutenant when you’re banging her, as you put it so eloquently. But more importantly, what do you mean ‘know for a fact’? It happened only once, and I’m pretty sure I didn’t tell you.”

  A devilish grin spread across Josh's face. “I watched you. We had agreed to grab a movie, remember? I was supposed to meet you at your dad’s office, but I got confused on the time and was an hour early. Had quite the front-row seat there to your, erm, activities. She was limber.”

  Indy hadn’t thought it was possible, but Noah blushed. “Shit, I can’t believe you watched me, you perv. Probably got off on it too, right?”

  Josh laughed. “Hell, yeah. You were pounding away, and I got to watch your gorgeous ass. Exquisite view. Spanked myself to that memory quite a few times.”

  “Was she any good?” Indy asked, gladly adding fuel to Noah’s embarrassment.

  “Oh, I’m sure she was. I was eighteen, and she was in her thirties, recently divorced. She came on so strong, and I didn’t have the heart to tell her no since she clearly needed an ego boost, so I went along with it. It was nice, and I think she liked it, because she kept screaming my name, but I had no idea what I was doing. And like I said, my experience with guys is nonexistent, except for Josh here.”

  “Well, that’s reassuring,” Indy said, his eyes sparkling.

  “Luckily, they taught me some stuff in medical training,” Noah said dryly.

  Indy grinned. “One can only hope.”

  “So the bottom-line is that none of us know what we’re doing, which means we’re fucked,” Josh said.

  Noah’s eyes twinkled as he looked at Josh. “Not yet, but that’s up to you.”

  A delightful blush stained Josh's cheeks.

  Indy asked, “You guys wanna fill me in here, or is this a private thing?”

  Noah gestured to Josh to do the honors. He cleared his throat, fidgeted with his thumbs. “As a reward for certain activities earlier this week, Noah has promised to let me top him for the first time.”

  “Yup, Josh gets a go at my ass, instead of the other way around.” Noah said it so matter-of-factly that Indy almost didn’t realize what a big thing this was for them both. Not that he would know, he’d only ever bottomed himself. Like Duncan would ever let me top, fuck no.

  “You’ve never switched?” Indy asked.

  “No. I haven’t been top ever,” Josh said, and Indy noted with interest he wasn’t blushing this time.

  Noah frowned. “What do you mean, ever? You mean with me, right?”

  “No, I mean ever. I’ve never fucked another guy; I’ve always been the bottom guy.”

  Noah’s head reeled back. “What the fuck?” he said. “How come you never told me?”

  Josh got up from Noah’s armrest and kneeled before him on the floor. “Because you would’ve felt obligated to switch, and it would’ve been wrong.” He kissed Noah’s hands, then turned and sat on the floor, his back resting comfortably against the empty spot under Noah’s missing leg.

  “I’ve always known I liked boys, ever since I was maybe ten, though I didn’t come out until I was fourteen. I was the stereotypical gay kid: sensitive, awkward in social interactions with guys. The kids in school picked up on it easily, especially in high school. My parents stopped talking to me when I came out, and my younger brother chose their side. Fuck, my life was hell before I met Noah. Teasing grew into bullying and then physical violence. I got the shit beaten out of me a few times for acting too gay.”

  Josh sighed as he looked up at Noah with a deep affection. “Without his friendship, I wouldn't have survived school. But I was still awkward and shy, way too scared to meet other gay guys, let alone date. Finally, I decided I wanted to get this whole virginity thing over with so I liquored up and went to a gay bar. I met this older guy named James who took a liking to me. He was my first, and it was nice. I like bottoming,” he said, eying Indy with a quick look. “I love being fucked. It’s an incredible feeling, well, with a guy who does it right.”

  Indy closed his eyes for a second, breathed through the familiar pain that thinking about sex, about Duncan and Eric brought. “I like it, too,” he confessed. “When it doesn’t fucking hurt because it’s too rough.”

  He opened his eyes again, hoping that he wouldn’t find the pity he feared on their faces.

  “Yeah,” Josh said, a similar expression of pain on his face. “It certainly can hurt like a motherfucker.”

  Indy didn’t ask. Josh's face said it all and so did Noah’s hand that came down on Josh's shoulder. What was there to say? Indy didn’t need the details; on the contrary. He’d lived them.

  Josh let out an audible breath, playing with Noah’s hand in a habitual way. It struck Indy again how okay Noah was with Josh's constant gestures of affection. For someone who thought he was straight till a while ago, he seemed to be on board with all of it. The guy had to be bi at least, if not full-out gay.

  Josh said, “You know, with two guys having sex, I feel that there’s a pecking order. Being top means being in control, being the dominant one in the relationship—at least at that point. I’ve never been that guy, never felt secure and trusted enough to be anything else than bottom.”

  Noah had been silently listening, though Indy had seen him react with suppressed anger when Josh mentioned what had been done to him. But now his eyes flared.

  “That’s bullshit,” he said, his voice sharp. “And that’s not why we haven’t switched positions yet.”

  Josh ducked a little, then pulled up his legs and lowered his head on his knees.

  “Then why?” he asked so softly Indy could barely hear him. “We’ve been fucking for ten months, and you never even offered.”

  Indy held his breath. Would Noah get angry? Noah bent forward and simply lifted Josh up under his arms, pulling him on his lap with sheer strength. He clamped two strong hands on Josh's face and kissed him hard on his mouth.

  “You’re an idiot, if you think that’s the reason.”

  Tears welled up in Josh's eyes, even as he covered Noah’s hands with his own in a gesture of sweet affection and surrender.

  “Look at me, Josh,” Noah commanded. Josh raised his eyes. “I am to blame for that, not you. When we started messing around and then having sex, it scared the shit out of me. Here I was, this self-proclaimed straight guy, and I was getting blown by another guy, literally sleeping with him, fucking him.”

  “I know it was hard for you. Weird,” Josh said, his voice thick with emotion.

  “No, it wasn’t, and that made it so complicated. I fucking loved it. When you gave me that first blow job, I came harder than I ever had before, including sex with girls. And when you let me fuck you, it unnerved me even more because what should’ve weirded me out felt so good. Sex with you is incredible, Josh, and that terrifies me since I always thought I was straight. That’s why I was so hesitant to cross those last boundaries, why I wouldn’t swallow or let you fuck me. Because once I did that, I’d have to embrace that I’m at least bi, probably leaning more toward gay.”

  Josh's eyes softened. “It’s a label, Noah. It doesn’t change who and what you are. You give it a name, that’s all. And everyone already thinks you’re gay anyway because of me, so what’s the big deal?”

  Noah clenched his jaw. “It would mean he was right.”

  Indy tilted his head. Who was Noah talking about?

  Josh's brows fu
rrowed before his face lit up with recognition. “Oh, babe, he wasn’t right at all. God, even if you came out as full-on gay, started wearing fuchsia feather boas and danced in the Pride parade in a pink thong, he still wouldn’t be right. He’ll never accept you for who you are, not even if you were straight.”

  His dad. They were talking about Noah’s dad, Indy understood. Poor Noah. He and Josh had not been lucky in that department. Indy’s mom had done a lot of horrible things—selling him to Duncan took the cake—but she’d never even batted an eye over Indy’s sexuality. He’d never even come out. They both simply knew, and it had not been an issue.

  “I know,” Noah said. “My head knows you’re right, but it still hurts. And I’m gonna pass on the feather boa and pink thong, if you don’t mind.”

  Josh grinned. “They’d look good on you.”

  Noah’s face relaxed, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Still not donning them.”

  “We’ll see. Now that you’re gay, I see a whole range of possibilities.”

  Noah’s eyes found Indy’s. Indy sent him a soft smile and got one back in return.

  “So why are you willing to bottom now?” Josh circled back to their earlier topic.

  “Because of Indy.”

  “Me?” Indy asked. “What do I have to do with anything?”

  Josh's hands dropped, and he bowed his head. “It’s not what you think, Josh,” Noah said with a hoarse voice.

  “How do you know what I’m thinking?”

  Noah lifted Josh's chin with his index finger. “Because you’re pulling away right now, in expectation of a mental blow. You think I’m allowing you to fuck me to cover up that I’m attracted to Indy.”

  “Don’t deny it!” Josh's head shot up, an angry blush on his cheeks. “You were hard when he kissed you, and you were angry because he made you hard, and that’s why the sex was so different. You’ve never fucked me that intense.”

  “You weren’t complaining,” Noah shot back.